Another photo I took on my “Bored Walk”.
This was found on a wall off in a quiet corner where there wouldn’t typically be much traffic. I stopped and thought about who wrote it? And why? And what was their point? It didn’t seem like someplace that someone would just be “hanging out” so they must have stopped and intentionally decided to just randomly write this little message. Did they need some love? Did they feel a surge of love, suddenly, and just didn’t know where to put it?
Love is such a big word. What kind of love were they wanting spread? I have to admit that when I first read it, it triggered some dirty thoughts in my mind. The phrase “spread it” had been re-arranged in my mind by porn to mean something that I no longer wanted to think about. I didn’t want this negative connotation rattling in my head, but I found it impossible to force it out. What I COULD do is try to focus on what this love was all about and how one might try to spread it if they were to decide to. I’m not sure a pencil message on a wall is going to inspire me to try to spread love. But, the gospel of Jesus Christ has gotten me pretty excited about it. The only problem is that some of the questions I’ve asked above become exceedingly hard to figure out in the real world.
I want to spread love but I don’t know how. I’ve tried volunteering in the past doing different things for people. But each time, I kind of ended up feeling used. For a while I was cutting people’s hair at an organization we have here in town. But, as I talked with the people, it seemed like they were capable of taking care of their own needs. Most of them just found it easier to become dependent upon others. I began to regret the time I was spending doing something I didn’t feel valuable doing anymore. In a lot of ways, it seems like a lot of the volunteer work I’ve seen has that flavor. People are giving their lives to help people who can, and should, help themselves.
I’ve been sitting at Starbucks more frequently. I watch people. I wish I could get into their stories. But, I don’t know how. I’m not the type of person that gets into spontaneous conversations with people very easily. I feel like people just want to be left alone. So, I try to spread love by giving them what they want–to be left alone. But, somehow I don’t feel like that’s right because even though people want to be left alone, I have a feeling that many of them are sad and lonely and would love to talk with someone. So, we shut ourselves in thinking that’s what we want when that’s exactly what is killing us.
I have this feeling that we are all a part of a web of humanity. We are all connected and intertwined. But, we don’t realize it. We live autonomously when we should be in dialogue. This seems to be the greatest prevention of the spreading of love. Our hearts are really messed up (just like in the picture).
I’ve been contemplating quite frequently how I might begin to engage people. I don’t want to be “that guy”–the weirdo who talks to you and you don’t know why. But, I’m tired of the silence. Any ideas? Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated.