So inspired by Nick Vujicic! I ordered some of his videos last week and just got around to watching them today. Here’s a guy born with no arms and no legs which launches him into depression and despair at an early age–to the point of being suicidal. He was full of unanswered questions. But, then he realized the reason why was so that God could do a special work through him. And that’s exactly what God HAS been doing now that Nick has found his purpose. Nick is not one to be pitied but one to be deeply envied. He has been given an amazing message of hope and an amazing love for people. This love has taken him all over the world to simply share his message, his smile, his hugs, and his “I love yous”. So simple, yet so powerful!
I was inspired to take a walk on the beach to think about my purpose. I’m burning inside with the desire to change the world, the desire to make a difference, the desire for my life to have deep meaning and purpose.
But how and what?
I have big plans to see the Celebrate Recovery we’re starting be successful. I have big plans to write a book about my struggle with porn. I have big plans to start a non-profit that will meet the needs of the struggling in our community. I have big plans to start a center in the country where people can start over by learning farming, industries, and life skills.
I have to learn to allow God to lead. If He wants them, He will make it happen. But, I don’t want to waste my life just waiting. I think God is trying to iron out my issues in preparation for great things.
Today, I was discouraged because I was out disc golfing and there were so many people there. I struggle with feeling very tense when I’m around groups of people I don’t know. I close up and draw myself inward for some reason.
I walked around downtown today and there were tons of people there. I didn’t speak to a single person. I hate that about myself! Would Jesus just walk around ignoring everyone and closing Himself up? Of course not! So, why am I allowing my personality and my personal insecurities define who I am and how I am?
Sometimes I just feel like I’m walking right on the edge of a cliff and I just need to jump off. I want to engage conversations. I want to put aside my insecurities and just go for it. But, then I draw back in fear. I just can’t do it!
But, I do believe in the power of God and I have great hope that He will change these things. I’m really, really believing it’s just around the corner. Nick is a testimony of powerful change. He came to a point in his life where he could either focus on his disability and give up or he could focus on how God could use him and jump off the cliff. He did the latter!