In my last post, I focused on how my addiction to porn and lust had partially paralyzed me spiritually. Today, I want to focus on another aspect of life that is paralyzed by addiction–that is, a subtle aspect of joy.
It’s not that an addict can NEVER find joy. There are moments. But, I’ve found something returning to my life that I didn’t even realize had gone. The best way I can describe it is in using a list of words. It’s kind of a nuance that is difficult to really explain. Basically, the best synonyms are “life’s”:
Without this essence, life becomes somewhat dull and mundane. I thought it was just a result of maturing and so I settled for it, but it is starting to return to my life like tiny raindrops falling here and there. Therefore, it must have been due to my addiction that I wasn’t experiencing it. I want to share a video I watched yesterday that I felt really captures this subtle essence very well. It’s very short, so I encourage you to click on it now before reading the rest of this post.
Kids seem to have this subtle awe that can be lost. I remember when I was young how exciting it was to go on a vacation and to know that you were going to be staying in a hotel WITH AN INDOOR POOL! I remember getting so excited about things that were going to happen that I couldn’t sleep. I remember experiencing things in my childhood that were so awe-inspiring that I could hardly contain my joy. I believe addiction strips this away. But I’m finding that it can also be restored. Maybe not to the same extent as this little girl is experiencing it or as you had as a child–but enough to bring a great amount of joy back into our adult lives.
My last post was a negative motivation to get out of addiction. But, this post presents a very positive motivation. Finding this restored joy in the “little things” or in the magnificence of life is so important to our well-being. I’m really excited to see this develop more and more in my life and I do not want to go back to my addiction and lose it all again.
It has been a long time since I’ve wanted to do anything besides just sit around on the computer or sleep. Doing anything else was laborious and simply something I had to do. But, now life’s splendor is returning and I’m just beginning to wake up again to the reality that there is a beauty to be sought, a playground to be explored, people to interact with, and so forth. I’m hoping this will grow–I’ll keep you posted!
“It is never too late to have a happy childhood.” –Tom Robbins