Living Without Porn

Free-Yourself

I look back at old posts in my blog and I remember the terrible struggle I had with porn.  There were times when I wasn’t sure I could ever live without porn.  I often thought I was a hopeless case.  My addiction was so strong I seriously thought it could kill me–because of the depression and instability it was causing in my life.

Today, I feel free.  I am not struggling with porn in my life anymore.  So, what happened for me?  Well, I’ve thought a lot about it because it almost seemed to easy to be true.  Basically, I did not attend any 12 step programs, I didn’t go to a rehabilitation center.  I didn’t go through any online programs.  I didn’t do any of the hard and time-consuming things that I always thought you would have to do.  I didn’t even have to go to counseling to dig up all those dark corners that had caused my addiction in the first place.

The main thing I did was give up masturbation.  That, in itself, wasn’t all that difficult.  I just decided to stop doing it.  And, when I did, everything started to change.  I would look at porn sometimes but it seemed to have lost its power.  I really had no more reason to look at porn anymore.  It didn’t have the same payoff as it did when there was an orgasm involved.  Over time, I was looking at porn less and less because it just wasn’t as exciting anymore.

But what about my addiction?  Didn’t I need something to fill that void that porn had filled before in my life?  Umm…  I don’t really know.  I seemed to start finding more positive things to do just kind of naturally.  I didn’t really think that much about it.  I just started finding more joy in things.  I started hiking a little bit.  I went surfing more.  I started writing in my journal more.  I went to coffee shops.  I was doing all kinds of things and enjoying them.  This was new as well, because porn has a way of stripping all the joy from your life and you usually don’t feel like doing much of anything at all.

Wasn’t I tempted a lot to masturbate?  Not really.  Every once in a while.  But, It’s easier to resist masturbation than it is to resist looking at porn for some reason.  I think because it’s so easy to open up the computer and just kind of veg out on porn.  Then, the next thing you know you’re masturbating.  But, when you decide to stop masturbating, the whole thing kind of gets the rug pulled out from under it.

So, I feel free in my life.  I feel that porn has lost its power over me.  I’m so happy because I can still remember all the sadness.  I’m so thankful for the change that I thought would never come.  Seriously, for over ten years I felt trapped.  If I could just convince some of you to try what I’ve tried I think you could find the same freedom.  Give it a shot and let me know…

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