In my last couple posts, I started talking about a female “friend” I have. She became a struggle for me because what was supposed to remain a friendship started to get messy when I began to have some feelings for her. As a married man, I don’t want that–especially considering I’m right in the middle of my mid-life crisis time.
So, I set out to change things. It’s been a little over a month now and things are going okay. The other day, she wanted to ask me a serious question. She was wondering if I was trying to distance myself from her. She said she felt that things were different. I was surprised she noticed! I was trying to act like I usually did but just tone it down a little with the flirting and spend less time together. She apparently has some kind of amazing intuition or something (girls are scary that way) and put her finger right on it.
I kind of made up something on the fly and said that it was mostly our new schedules and stuff. I also told her that I was feeling less “clingy” now and maybe she was noticing that. I played it off–not that well…
So, now it’s a little bit tricky. I didn’t want her to notice me changing. I don’t want her to feel like I don’t like her anymore. I do like her. But, I’m trying to be back to just friends again. And that means some changes have to take place.
I’m also kind of confused about her question. Is it because she had become so accustomed to my flirtation with her and she’s not getting the same high from my new attitude? Or, is she concerned because she had feelings for me too? The only reason I’m wondering is because I’m curious about how much this is really affecting her. If it’s the former, well, she’s probably not taking it that hard and will find her attention from someone else. If it’s the latter, then her heart might be broken. That would be very sad!