In my last three posts, I have begun to share the story of my friend who I’ve developed a crush on over the last year. I want to talk a little more about that because these posts have definitely stirred up the females who have been reading them. The comments that they have left have been very helpful and almost punitive.
The clear advice that I have received in the comments has been that I need to create a distance between myself and this girl and give my complete affection to my wife alone. In fact, they go so far as to say I need to stop talking to her and not even care about her feelings. Well, that would work I suppose. I go to class with her twice a week and work in the same hospital department with her three days a week. So, I’ve felt like this would be somewhat impossible. Someone else added that my conversation with her should not extend beyond talk about work if necessary. That is a bit more realistic, but also difficult. Perhaps I do still have feelings for her. Okay, I do. She’s been a very good friend. We have a lot of history now. Like I mentioned in, “Breaking up is hard to do…” it’s not easy for me to just give that up. But, the comments I’m getting are that I have to. And, I appreciate those comments. I can see the truth in them. And I thank you all for telling me the truth openly and honestly.
So, I’m seriously chewing on that advice and trying to figure out how to go about it. One thing I’m thinking is that I might want to talk to her openly. I’ve never shared with her the feelings that have grown over this year. I’ve always tried to keep it “friends”. I would imagine she has noticed that it’s been more. But, it’s never been spoken. I feel like I want to talk to her about it because I still have so many questions about how she felt. And I feel like she at least deserves to know why I’m planning to distance myself. I think she would understand and probably would be okay with it. I also think she would be willing to help me keep that distance. She would back off more.
Does this seem like a bad idea? Is there a better way I should approach this? Is there any danger in this plan?