So, I’m looking for some quick advice from this post. Here’s what’s going on in a nutshell if you haven’t been keeping up with my posts:
1) I’m married (20 years now) and working on trying to make my marriage better and more exciting.
2) I have a female friend from school/clinicals who I developed feelings for over the summer because we were spending a lot of time together.
3) I decided to create some distance because I can’t afford to have those feelings in my life.
4) She noticed I was being different and kind of distant–at least that things weren’t the same. She asked me about it.
5) I sort of fibbed a little and told her that it was just because of our new semester and new clinical rotation and that I haven’t changed.
6) I realize now that I need to create a lot more distance than either one of us might feel comfortable with. I feel like it could hurt her. I know it will be difficult for me too, but I think it’s important. I owe it to my wife.
7) I was thinking about telling her about the feelings I developed over the summer so that she understands the reason for what I feel like needs to happen. Otherwise, I feel like she wouldn’t understand if I just start giving her the cold shoulder for no apparent reason. We’re still going to school and clinicals together.
8) I realize she might confess she had feelings for me too (or maybe not). I think I would be okay with that because that is just more reason for both of us to create some real distance between us.
So, I would really like to hear from those who have had this sort of experience. What did you do? What would you have done differently, if anything? Would you recommend I do or do not do what I’m thinking? I need to hear some learned wisdom gained by experience.