I have to tell you about one of the strongest and most effective things that is helping me to remain faithful during my midlife crisis…
It’s better than any book I’ve read. It’s better than any strategy. It’s better than a list of rules.
It’s my WIFE!!
I have to say, my wife is absolutely and completely amazing to me. I’ve talked about how amazing she is throughout my blog. She has stuck with me through my decade of porn addiction. She stuck with me through the times I have developed crushes. There were a couple times when my crushes became very dangerous to our marriage and I was having thoughts about leaving my wife. She stuck with me through those times. She has stuck with me through this most recent crush and the struggle I’m currently having with just being friends with this girl from school. She is amazing.
I have to tell you about something she is currently doing in our relationship that is so awesome.
A few weeks ago, I picked up my daily quote book to do my morning reading. That morning’s quote said, “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.”
The quote was appropriate because I had just talked to my crush the night before about the feelings that I had developed for her and the mistakes I felt I had made leading up to them. I made a commitment to do better at just remaining friends.
In that same page in my quote book, there was a little envelope with a card in it. The card was from my wife. The card said, “There are many reasons why I love you. I can think of 52. The first reason why I love you is because you care about me. I can feel your love for me and I really appreciate it.”
This card has started a whole chain of thoughtful surprises from my wife. A couple days later, I opened my backpack at work and found a box of Hot Tamales inside with a note written on the box that said, “Reason #2 that I love you is because your my Hot Tamale”.
A few days later, I got another envelope taped to my lunch which said, “reason #3 is because you’re patient with me.”
Today, I opened my backpack and there was a little present inside. It was a little smiley face guy with outstretched arms and a note that said, “the #4 reason that I love you is because you give me free hugs.”
I’m assuming that there will be another 48 of these little surprises to come and I’m really excited about them! I’m seriously surprised every time I find one of these hidden treasures and I can’t wait to read the reason.
It is truly making me love my wife so much more. It’s so thoughtful of her that I feel deeply touched by it. I can’t wait to tell her I found it each day and to thank her for it. I have also been trying to do more things to surprise her too. Yesterday, I bought her some flowers and when she came to pick me up, they were sticking out of my backpack. She loved it.
Gift giving is a great tool for couples.
Paul wrote in the Bible concerning people that “if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Cor. 7:9). I have a lust problem–many people do. The Biblical answer is to have a spouse!
I have had a spouse all along, but that doesn’t mean it has solved my problems. I feel that you can be married but not really gain the benefits that a marriage should provide. You can have a wife, but not really appreciate and love her unconditionally. That’s what was happening with me. For the benefits of marriage to be active, the relationship really has to be healthy and based upon true love.
My wife is loving me like never before. These things she’s doing are seriously effective. I’m trying to return the favor. It’s working!
I’ve previously mentioned several rules to prevent or reverse a crush. This one is the grandest rule of them all–if you have a spouse, learn to love her unconditionally and fully. That is the most effective way to keep your heart where it belongs.
I just wanted to mention what my wife is up to because it might give you (husbands or wives) some ideas of what you could do for your spouse as well. He or she would love it!
In the future, I intend to offer more advice about how to make your marriage fulfilling enough to keep you faithful. I’ve got a good article I’m hoping to share some tips from very soon. I’ve also mentioned the book “the Love Dare” in previous posts. I want to give you the cream of the crop from that book as well.
Take care and keep on fighting for faithfulness!