The Greatest Secret to Remaining Faithful during a Crush or a Midlife Crisis

I have to tell you about one of the strongest and most effective things that is helping me to remain faithful during my midlife crisis…

It’s better than any book I’ve read.  It’s better than any strategy.  It’s better than a list of rules.

It’s my WIFE!!

I have to say, my wife is absolutely and completely amazing to me.  I’ve talked about how amazing she is throughout my blog.  She has stuck with me through my decade of porn addiction.  She stuck with me through the times I have developed crushes.  There were a couple times when my crushes became very dangerous to our marriage and I was having thoughts about leaving my wife.  She stuck with me through those times.  She has stuck with me through this most recent crush and the struggle I’m currently having with just being friends with this girl from school.  She is amazing.

I have to tell you about something she is currently doing in our relationship that is so awesome.

A few weeks ago, I picked up my daily quote book to do my morning reading.  That morning’s quote said, “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.”

The quote was appropriate because I had just talked to my crush the night before about the feelings that I had developed for her and the mistakes I felt I had made leading up to them.  I made a commitment to do better at just remaining friends.

In that same page in my quote book, there was a little envelope with a card in it.  The card was from my wife.  The card said, “There are many reasons why I love you.  I can think of 52.  The first reason why I love you is because you care about me.  I can feel your love for me and I really appreciate it.”

This card has started a whole chain of thoughtful surprises from my wife.  A couple days later, I opened my backpack at work and found a box of Hot Tamales inside with a note written on the box that said, “Reason #2 that I love you is because your my Hot Tamale”.

A few days later, I got another envelope taped to my lunch which said, “reason #3 is because you’re patient with me.”

Today, I opened my backpack and there was a little present inside.  It was a little smiley face guy with outstretched arms and a note that said, “the #4 reason that I love you is because you give me free hugs.”

I’m assuming that there will be another 48 of these little surprises to come and I’m really excited about them!  I’m seriously surprised every time I find one of these hidden treasures and I can’t wait to read the reason.

It is truly making me love my wife so much more.  It’s so thoughtful of her that I feel deeply touched by it.  I can’t wait to tell her I found it each day and to thank her for it.  I have also been trying to do more things to surprise her too.  Yesterday, I bought her some flowers and when she came to pick me up, they were sticking out of my backpack.  She loved it.

Gift giving is a great tool for couples.

Paul wrote in the Bible concerning people that “if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Cor. 7:9).  I have a lust problem–many people do.  The Biblical answer is to have a spouse!

I have had a spouse all along, but that doesn’t mean it has solved my problems.  I feel that you can be married but not really gain the benefits that a marriage should provide.  You can have a wife, but not really appreciate and love her unconditionally.  That’s what was happening with me.  For the benefits of marriage to be active, the relationship really has to be healthy and based upon true love.

My wife is loving me like never before.  These things she’s doing are seriously effective.  I’m trying to return the favor.  It’s working!

I’ve previously mentioned several rules to prevent or reverse a crush.  This one is the grandest rule of them all–if you have a spouse, learn to love her unconditionally and fully.  That is the most effective way to keep your heart where it belongs.

I just wanted to mention what my wife is up to because it might give you (husbands or wives) some ideas of what you could do for your spouse as well.  He or she would love it!

In the future, I intend to offer more advice about how to make your marriage fulfilling enough to keep you faithful.  I’ve got a good article I’m hoping to share some tips from very soon.  I’ve also mentioned the book “the Love Dare” in previous posts.  I want to give you the cream of the crop from that book as well.

Take care and keep on fighting for faithfulness!

This entry was posted in crushes, lust, marriage, midlife crisis, Pornography Addiction, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to The Greatest Secret to Remaining Faithful during a Crush or a Midlife Crisis

  1. TomCat says:

    Congrats on winning a wonderful woman! Make sure you hang on to her. She is a rare find in this day and age. It doesn’t sound like your crush is even worth it. Don’t let it ruin your wonderful marriage. Believe me when I say that no amount of lust will make you happier than your marriage can.
    I really love where this is going and am excited to read your next posts.

  2. Jake says:

    What a great post about your wife. You are indeed a lucky man. The tips you are sharing will help many people. Looking forward to the next. I am married also. Its been only a year although we dated for four. My friends are divorcing all around me and its scary. Any more advice would be appreciated.

  3. Poppy says:

    My husband is currently very close friends with another girl, so I’m just trying to rack your brain for answers. You mentioned how you are currently still struggling with your crush. I’m just curious why that is. Is it something that you feel like you will gain victory over? Or, is there such a strong connection there, that it may never go away?

    • PatrickO says:

      A crush is just a feeling that comes and goes. They will go away…and maybe come back. You should maybe just talk with your husband about it. Just my 2 cents.

    • I believe guys and girls respond very differently (typically) when it comes to guy/girl friendships. It is classic for the guy to fall in love with the girl and the girl to be oblivious to this. She just wants to be friends but he secretly wants more. I believe I will get over this with time and distance. Right now, I can’t avoid being around her, but I will eventually be able to distance myself more. Other crushes I’ve had in the past have gone away–with distance. That’s the only way I know of.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s